By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
