we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
