After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
