That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.