Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.