Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!