i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.