How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex