Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
