I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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