So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
