Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
