is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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