girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize