Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
