So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
