Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
ugly people sure do ruin things
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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