we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize