my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
