I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
