Dual....:-)
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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