Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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