He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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