1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
