Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
