i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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