no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
