The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
