the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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