Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
