Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Come on in and take your pants off
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