ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
