I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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