She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
