the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
