woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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