you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
