He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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