atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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