I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
