He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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