My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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