Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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