Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
