Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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