He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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