highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize