I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
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We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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