Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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