i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
