As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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