Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize