what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
