I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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