I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
