i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
