i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You are the jesus of drinking
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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