Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You don't make any sense
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