One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just tell him i said nine months
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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