i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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