I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
