He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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