we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
