I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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