whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
