I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
