he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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