oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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