His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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