I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
