I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize