Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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